A Very Modern Fairytale Series: HP x T Style
by BadRoseGal
Summary: Please note: WORST FANFIC EVER! :P Anyway, Series of hilarious and random fairytale stories. Included are; A Very Axe Murder Fairytale and A Very Kitty Fairytale and many more. Warning: Twilight Bashing in later chapters
1. A Very Axe Murder Fairytale

**Hey guys, I know I need to update my other stories and I will on Sunday probably.**

**Anyway, this is just a series of random fairytales that I came up with my friends. They are extremely random and stupid. I don't care if you don't like them. I found them quite funny.**

**_PLEASE NOTE_: _If there is ever a particular chapter that you found interesting and you want me to make into a proper story then just tell me and I'll think about it. I'll need inspiration though so I might not. It depends which chapter._**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Twilight. J. K. Rowling and Stephanie Meyer own all.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 1: A Very Axe Murder FairytaleA Very Vengeful Fairytale **(I couldn't decide on a tiltle)

Once upon a time...

There were two girls named Ginny (AKA Harry Lover) and Hermione. They were the best of friends but they were both very sad. They didn't have very nice lives. Hermione's parents are muggles (no-magic folk for all you slow pokes) and Ginny's family was poor. They always got teased at school. Hermione got teased for her brains and her wizard status. Ginny got teased for her annoyingly bright red hair and her family.

So one day these two girls went for road trip. Hermione paid since Ginny was still very poor. They went to the far away land of No Name. It was pretty exclusive. There Ginny met her prince charming, Harry... and a bunch of other oaks like Neville, Luna, Dean and many others that we don't really care about at this point of the story.

Anyway, Ginny had a ball, fell in love, kissed in the sunset, got married and lived happily ever after!

End of story? NO!

Meanwhile...

While Ginny was busy having the time of her life, Hermione was left alone, in the darkness, with no friends. They all didn't like her because she was too smart. They all made fun of her. They made her feel like an outcast. So, one day, Hermione decided to get her revenge.

She became a cold hard angry bitch. She was so angry that she went into her bathroom and purposefully made herself look all pretty. She dressed up in a big poofy princess dress and high heels. She put on a lot of make-up. Hermione walked out the door and to the tool shed. She picked up one of the tools and held it in her hand. She smirked as she looked at it. She hid it behind her back as she made her way towards Ginny and Harry's new house. She opened the door with a hair pin and snuck in quietly. It was night time so everyone would or should be asleep. She walked upstairs and found Harry asleep alone on the bed. She heard some water coming from the bathroom. She smirked as she looked back down at Harry's sleeping form.

"You will pay for stealing away my best friend!" she whispered harshly as she lifted up the axe she was holding and striked him right in the chest.

She striked him a few more times until she was satisfied. He was definitely dead. She was covered in his blood. She didn't care though. She listened to the water that was still coming from the bathroom. Ginny had obviously not heard any of the commotion that had just happened. She smirked as she slowly walked up to the bathroom. She opened the door slowly and found Ginny in only a towel by the sink. She was washing her face. Hermione walked behind her and looked at her through the mirror. Ginny finally wiped the water off her face as she stood up straight. Hermione lifted up the axe. Ginny was wiping her eyes and then she opened them lazily. She gasped as she saw the sight in the mirror. She quickly turned around with eyes wide and before she could do anything else, Hermione striked her in the chest.

Hermione killed Harry.

...

And then Ginny.

...

And then... herself.

...

!THE END!

Or is it...

We'll just have to wait and see my pretties. Mwahahaha!

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><p><strong>Okay, I know the end got a little dramatic. Sorry about that. The other chapters won't be like that. Only minimal drama that will make it funny.<strong>

**So, did you like it? Hate it? Do you think me and my friends are crazy chicks? Btw, we are.**

**I'll update again on Sunday with my other stories. Right now I have to get ready for a court case. Oh joy *note sarcasm* For those of you who know that I am only like what? 14? Something like that. I am going to a court case with my dad and mom. Something to do with their divorce and my dad disowning me and yada yada yada. Whateves. Anyway, don't know why I told you that. Oh well.**

**REVIEW if you love me :D or if you don't... you know, whateves. I would like some reviews though.**

**~Rose/Hannah**


	2. A Very Witches Fairytale: Part 1

**So heres another chapter of my stupid story. Review for the stupidity of it. This is probably then only chapter that will be split into two.**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Twilight or Harry Potter. Stephanie Meyer and J. K. Rowling own all.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 2 - A Very Witches Fairytale: Part 1<strong>

Once upon a time...

There was a young princess, Isabella. She was quite a stupid princess. And very plain and boring but for some reason everyone loved her. I think all the boys who fell for her were playing a practical joke and then they realised how hopeless and defenceless she was so they decided not to tell her about their little prank. Edward just likes her because she smells nice and he likes watching her sleep which is a bit creepy and stalker-ish.

So, one day this young princess decided to go for a walk. And then for a drive. And then for a fly high in the sky. So she went to the airport and booked a flight to England. When she got there she decided to explore. Soon, after a lot of exploring, she came across something very interesting.

A GROUP OF FUCKING TEENAGERS WERE FUCKING FLYING AROUND ON FUCKING BROOMS!

'What the fuck?' she thought to herself.

She then noticed something interesting. One of those teenagers was the man of her dreams. The one she always thought about. The one who snuck into her bedroom and watched her sleep. THE CREEPER!

"Edward?" she called out as she came out of her hiding spot and walked towards who she thought was Edward who was holding his broom.

Everyone looked panicked. Then, one of the teenagers, a very bushy haired one, pulled out what Bella thought was a stick. But everyone knew it was a wand.

"Obliviate!" the bushy haired girl shouted pointing her 'stick' at Bella.

Bella was thrown back by some funky light force. She landed on the ground on her back. Everyone quickly hid away their brooms and went to crowd around her. She stirred and rubbed her head as she sat up.

"What's going on?" Bella asked very confused.

The bushy haired girl, who's name we still do not know, grinned thinking her spell had worked.

"Edward what's going on?" Bella asked looking at the boy she thought was Edward. "Why can you fly on brooms? Why do you have sticks that shoot out light? Who are these people?" she asked frantically.

They all looked at each other confused a to why the spell didn't work. Obviously the spell didn't work on Bella since she had some funky weird messed up brain that didn't allow any weird powers to do with the mind work on her which also applied with magic. But, these teanagers didn't know.

"I thought you were a vampire not some... some... magical thing!" Bella said still confused.

There was a series of gasps at the word vampire. They all shared looks as Bella just looked up at them confused. They looked back down at Bella.

...

To be continued...

...

What's going on?

How did the spell not work?

Do vampires exist?

Who's Edward?

Who's the bushy haired girl?

Why is Edward with these strange people?

Is this magic?

Find out in the next chapter of... A Very Modern Fairytale Series! Woohoo! Yeah! Whoo! Awesome! :D

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><p><strong>So how was it? Hate it? Found it stupid? Next chapter is a continuation of this chapter. REVIEW!<strong>

**~Rose**


	3. A Very Witches Fairytale: Part 2

**Okay, so heres another chappie. Thanks for reviewing and stuff**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Twilight. J. K. Rowling and Stephanie Meyer owns all**

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><p><em><strong>A Very Witches Fairytale: Part 2<strong>_

Previously in A Very Modern Fairytale...

A GROUP OF FUCKING TEENAGERS WERE FUCKING FLYING AROUND ON FUCKING BROOMS!

"Obliviate!" the bushy haired girl shouted pointing her 'stick' at Bella.

"Edward what's going on?" Bella asked looking at the boy she thought was Edward. "Why can you fly on brooms? Why do you have sticks that shoot out light? Who are these people?" she asked frantically.

"I thought you were a vampire not some... some... magical thing!" Bella said still confused.

There was a series of gasps at the word vampire. They all shared looks as Bella just looked up at them confused. They looked back down at Bella.

...

Once upon a time...

"Edward?" Bella asked still confused.

"Um," the guy she thought was Edward looked back at her, "my names not Edward." He said in a weird british accent.

"Why are you talking funny?" Bella asked as she got up and looked at this so called Edward.

The bushy haired girl took Bella by her shoulders and turned her to face her. The bushy haired girl looked at her intently.

"Can I ask you something? Who is Edward and how do you know about Vampires?" this bushy haired girl asked.

"That's Edward," Bella pointed to her Edward. "And he's my vampire boyfriend."

Everyone looked at her curiously.

"I say she's mad -"

"And doesn't have a clue -"

"About vampires."

Some red head twins finished each others sentences.

"I'm not mad!" Bella said. "Edwards my vampire boyfriend that sparkles in the sunlight!" she tried to convince them. "He matches my purse." She said off-handedly with a smile.

They all (except one) shared looks.

"I'm pretty positive she's mad." Another red head boy said. He was quite chubby and younger than the other red heads.

"No I'm not!" she pleaded with them again. "He's a vampire! He moves super fast. He's extremely graceful. He sparkles in the sunlight. And he lives in the forest." She gave them all the information of a vampire.

"Sounds like a fairy if you ask me." The twins said and chuckled. A few of the others tried not to laugh.

"She's not mad, you know." A girl with platinum blonde hair said in a dreamy voice.

Everyone turned to look at her.

"How would she know all theses facts about vampires if she was mad?" she asked no one in particular.

"Luna, those aren't real facts." The bushy haired girl said. Okay, so the platinum haired girl is Luna.

"Yes they are, Hermione." Luna said. Okay, bushy haired girl is Hermione. "I studied about vampires and these are the facts."

"Vampires don't exist." A boy with shaggy black hair and glasses said.

"Yes they do." Luna and Bella said at the same time.

"Well, I'm not a vampire and my names not Edward." Bella's Edward said.

Bella turned to look at him. "Yes you are." She walked up to him and kissed him.

And so in the end, the real Edward showed up, he was pissed that Bella kissed another guy, they made up and got over it, they realised the guy Bella kissed was Edwards descendant (apparently he had gotten quite a few humans pregnant before. Bella wasn't too happy about that), they found out those people were wizards and went to a magical school called Hogwarts, Bella got in trouble with the Volturi since she spilled about vampires, the Volturi killed Bella, but that's not all... Bella came back from the dead (don't ask how), she became a vampire and they all lived happily ever after! Except for the fact that wolves somehow got into the picture and there was a whole big war between Wizards, Vampires and Wolves. Basically, Aro challenged Voldermort, they completely forgot about the wizarding war, Harry got a pet dog named Jacob, Jacob turned out to be a shapeshifter (aka wolf), Jacob challenged Harry, Voldermort got angry cause he was supposed to fight Harry, Voldermort challenged the wolves and somehow they all ended up fighting till death.

!THE END!

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><p><strong>So, how was it? Not so funny? Anyway, my friends and I aren't gonna have accounting for a while and its really only fun to write this during accounting :P So, it could be a while till the next update. Sorry bout that.<strong>

**REVIEW**

**~Rose**


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